I annoy myself

So I’m failing…. my true love and I’m letting her down.

She is going through hell and I’m so proud of her but I keep letting her down.

She called me today and was so happy she’s been doing well….but then all a sudden she stopped talking to me and didn’t wanna tell me what had happened just she wanted to be alone, I tried to find out what was wrong, but I upset her so I left her alone as she asked. But I guess me finding out was what wrong was wrong or maybe I shouldn’t left her alone, maybe I didn’t do it right. She told me I was in a mood so stupid me must have given the wrong impression off as I was fine but still concerned for my girl.

I hate how angry I make her, how much I let her down how I annoy her but it’s even more heart breaking I don’t even no why that’s how crap i am. 

I had a naff day, awful infact I feel sorry for myself coz I’m a little under the weather everyone wants attention when ya feeling sickly, but I didn’t get chance to say anything and it’s all coz i must say wrong things or give off wrong vibes.

I wanna settle down with this girl, Iv recently realised how much she means to me so….why am I such an rubbish boyfriend???

Hating someone 

I don’t blame anyone apart from me…
Last night after messing stuff up again, I wanted to give up. I’m sick a tired of someone to the point I can’t stand them…that isn’t me.

The hatred I have towards them is unreal, there smell, there way with words, every associated with them I absolutely hate with a passion just their name is enough.

I watch them upset someone special to me, stupid things but it’s enough to maker that special one annoyed upset and hate this person too, she’s lovely though and says she doesn’t but he knows that we both hate him, not number one in anboodys life because the way he fails so all the time, now I know this is terrible to we should support this person but there is only so much guidance until you realise there just pathetic, the look of them, there social media input, the car they drive if I see another I’m like grrrrr reminds me of him, certainly places associated with them it makes me angry, I wanna see them suffer for being so useless to everyone else.

I got asked what do you wanna do, I said I could and want to kill them…..but the problem is this person I hate, it’s me!!
So how do you get rid of you, out of your own life?