My reaction has been totally different this weekend, I read something that I thought was about me and turns out it wasn’t which is really embarrassing but still you deal with it.
My online dating has got me in so much trouble too lol but however has made me realise my value and worth, which has promoted confidence with in me and I am using affectively to contribute to my way of thinking and its really working well.
So she has been on my mind this weekend just over nothing but not in a negative way at all, for the first time ever its been all good iv had a few memories pop in my head but instead of going oh god I smiled and remembered with Hugh admiration for even having the memory in the first place.
Today I went for a walk and was talking about hospital’s and giving away the food your given, reminded me of a night the ex with anorexia asking for a sandwich in the middle of the night and a coffee but gave to me…probably gave the hospital the wrong impression, then got me thinking about something else were talking about kids songs and made me remember times of singing bob the builder in the street with her 🙂 I even smile writing it now and then to top it off I went and brought some pic and mix for work tonight and made me remember the ” I dare you to eat one in the shop” these are such stupid and childish things however they are moments that stick in your mind when you look at positives in people. These are probably the experiences and smiles I wont experience with anybody new or her too but we are still very lucky to have experienced them in the first place.
I read her blog last week and it killed me not to say anything and it was explaining the illness of a very important family member to her and trust me I know more then anyone the value these people have on her life, I have been honoured to meet them and spend time with them and can understand why they are so inspirational to her, but the point I am making is that it puts life in perspective its very short tomorrow is a whole new day and tomorrow I will see a new person I didn’t today or come across a situation I didn’t today our lives change from second to second day to day, my experience this year has taught me a lot about trust, honesty and general attitude so learning is a very important tool and taking all this into account the ability to not blame or hate anyone is important for the little time on this planet we have make sure you don’t fall out with the people who make you smile or once upon a time made you smile, don’t punish people for there choices because once upon a time you would have thanked them.
My biggest regret for 2017 is I will see out the rest of the year never being able to buy someone a coffee and just literally saying you know what… I AM SORRY, that’s all maybe its me but I shared some amazing experience’s that are worth so much more then silly moments or arguments.
We cant change the past situations but we can change today and tomorrow, that’s all I am doing now.