Today is a very hard day for me, May 19th was the day I meet my ex partner she was a dream come true.
Everything I had ever dreamed of and more was there, she even offered more then I can ever dream of.
I didn’t realise it quite as possible to love another human being that much and I didn’t realise how special it is to love your best friend and soulmates do exist as she was definitely mine.
Right now we are apart and shouldn’t be, we maybe wouldn’t be had I accepted it but I didn’t because I didn’t wanna lose her.
Today we should be celebrating this week should have been life changing for us both as a couple, but today I sit alone thinking of her wishing this wasn’t happening. Wasting a day as I don’t have her to enjoy it with.
I wanna say f**k it let’s fix this right now stop feeling sad and move on and be together, I wanna apologise till I lose my voice as I know Iv done wrong but I can’t il end up in prison and today I planned for her to be woken up by two red roses to show that it’s been the worth everything to be with such a special girl. But I can’t do that either.
But it’s heart breaking that we are apart when we don’t want to be and I can’t do anything about it. Iv lost her for ever.
For what it’s worth I am sorry, I messed up and am paying the price with the police. Falling in love is scary, your whole life to one person is scary giving your heart your feelings to someone else ya brave.
So losing that bond losing love was even more scary. An I didn’t no what to do I didn’t react correctly and did think straight. I was hurting from everything and trying to work out why.
But now I have lost the one person I actually truly loved in this world for what…my inability to give up, I am gutted ashamed of myself and sad. Not so long ago we were the happiest couple I know right now we are the saddest and missing each other.
Today sucks and I’m sad so sad, I wish she would forgive me, I love her so much.