So im not allowed to bite at blogs, i am letting myself down by writing this too.
Today i have slept all the way through till tea time which is great makes me feel awake ready for tonight, even made my Christmas roster look okay when its pretty terrible.
I read her blogs and there are parts about her wanting to talk to someone and i kid myself wishing it was me, then when i think about it i realise its not me she means.
Last night i described the feeling of being lonely, today she wrote a very similar one and the were both describing loneliness in such a way that unless your in the situation you would not understand. You can be surrounded by millions of people and interact with different people, but we all long for someone to say hi too someone to ask how we are someone to share your funny moments with or someone to seek advice.
But sometimes its who that someone is that is important, my mum cares about me but i wouldn’t call her up to sing to her when i was bored, or my brother i can talk to but not about my day or how i feel, i have lisa who is great but is not someone who makes me smile by talking rubbish, but there is one person who did this… and shes feeling similar to me yet wont talk, to know she is crying and lonely and actually wants to talk to me is really sad.
For once im pretty positive this is me she describes, an its is nice to know that she believes i would be there for her when in fact i would, i would never let her down and i have always said that her illness is the reason for all of this not her.
I just wish she would follow her instincts and say hello, just wish i could tell her i want my friend back!