The ending

Today is the day I can no longer take the weight that I carry on my shoulders.
I’m ready to let go to stop clutching in mid air.
Iv recently lost a special bond with a sweet natured,generous and loving person.
My love was taken away to soon and so fast and it has already began to change my life forever.
Unexpectedly and out of the blue leaving no time to plan or no time say goodbye.
It’s breaking my heart and maybe even her heart that we never got to show our fiends and family who love very much the bond we shared and experienced.

But as the big black cloud thickens and gets darker and darker I can no longer weather the storm. I no longer see a sunshine I no longer see a point and I no longer see a future.

I hate who I am, the dark evil toxic person I am the person I am described is the person I am. I hate my reflection and everything I see.
I no longer have the strength to eat or communicate I no longer control my brain to be able to sleep, I am out of control of my emotions and no longer strong enough to fight back the guilt painted onto my back, the weight is to heavy.

This is no longer a life the pain is now unbearable and I can’t continue.

I have made a mistake and I can’t live this life with these such consequences, my dreams are over and this now has to end as I can’t take the emotional pain and guilt anymore.

It’s cowardly and insensitive but this scenario right now is not real and I can’t do it anymore.

I am destroyed and broken and it has to end now.

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