So today my ex randomly decided to text me after 8/9months, even now I’m kinda stunned as to why. 

Last time I spoke to her I had begun talking to my ex again…she wasn’t impressed but I ignored it, but she like others used me to help her get a job in aviation then left.

So she was interested in what I had been doing asking if it worked with Aimee, I explained it did yes but she got sick and I didn’t wanna share with her but it was serious she could have died to which she though was dramatic.

She then began to tell me how amazing her job was she had been promoted to supervisor crew member then how she meet a guy when me an Aimee started again yet she’s “super happy” has moved inn together and are practally like a married couple…..an a added told you so about Aimee…wow nice to hear from you too lol

Me and Aimee would be exactly like that had it not been for anorexia…I didn’t sleep today so have been  up since yesterday lunch time, sorry if this makes no sense.

Oh how life should be so different 

So today my ex randomly decided to text me after 8/9months, even now I’m kinda stunned as to why. 

Last time I spoke to her I had begun talking to my ex again…she wasn’t impressed but I ignored it, but she like others used me to help her get a job in aviation then left.

So she was interested in what I had been doing asking if it worked with Aimee, I explained it did yes but she got sick and I didn’t wanna share with her but it was serious she could have died to which she though was dramatic.

She then began to tell me how amazing her job was she had been promoted to supervisor crew member then how she meet a guy when me an Aimee started again yet she’s “super happy” has moved inn together and are practally like a married couple…..an a added told you so about Aimee…wow nice to hear from you too lol

Me and Aimee would be exactly like that had it not been for anorexia…I didn’t sleep today so have been  up since yesterday lunch time, sorry if this makes no sense.

Oh how life should be so different 

So today my ex randomly decided to text me after 8/9months, even now I’m kinda stunned as to why. 

Last time I spoke to her I had begun talking to my ex again…she wasn’t impressed but I ignored it, but she like others used me to help her get a job in aviation then left.

So she was interested in what I had been doing asking if it worked with Aimee, I explained it did yes but she got sick and I didn’t wanna share with her but it was serious she could have died to which she though was dramatic.

She then began to tell me how amazing her job was she had been promoted to supervisor crew member then how she meet a guy when me an Aimee started again yet she’s “super happy” has moved inn together and are practally like a married couple…..an a added told you so about Aimee…wow nice to hear from you too lol

Me and Aimee would be exactly like that had it not been for anorexia…I didn’t sleep today so have been  up since yesterday lunch time, sorry if this makes no sense.

Oh how life should be so different 

WTF is going on.

So the last few hours have been mental.

But some realisation has hit inn, being a nice guy is so pointless..you always lose by being nice.

So i woke up today to a text from my college informing me there has been big discussions at work related to me. I work in aircraft flight operations, last night i had a flight out of the U.S the aircraft (in simple terms) requires a radio frequency wave length which enables the aircraft to be able to receive vital information regarding wind speed and movement at all different flight level. In the US they use a different system which requires our crew to in put slightly different info into the aircraft flight management computer. (sorry go to into being a geek)

So i explained to the captain the way to over come the issue, i also then sent him a copy of the pilots newsletter which stated about this issue, it was purely to share info.

He however took it as a dig, i questioned his seniority he called the office to speak to me he has demanded to know my roster so he can call me, he has made the girl on shift cry due to being so angry and a conference call with the top managers and chief pilots was called with him he has made an official complaint and wishes me to apologise.

I have been informed my information was above and beyond and they are happy with me, how ever i am now awaiting a call lol

Then i read A blog about a guy using her for one thing basically letting her fall for him then dropping her like a lead balloon. This makes me so angry because when we split up in the past it was the same always guys after one thing and they the only ones who get her attention not people who genuinely care and look after her.

Then i come into work and ask a question and one the guys makes a dig at my college and she bursts into tears, i have to take her out the room. The guys have been digging at her all day and find it funny to see her wound up. She is such a lovely girl why would people do that? I came back in the office to shout at the guys a young 21 and 23 year old lads who are acting immature but not taking other peoples feelings into consideration.

Its been crazy iv only been awake since 1600, im just learning that it doesn’t pay to be a nice person. I may have been painted into someone im not but i am a nice person who trys his best for others yet im the one who loses out to aresholes. Then tonight i got thanked for being that nice guy off my college…but whats the point!

 

Anoyed right now.

 

 

Strangers sticking their nose in!!!

This blog has been a mixed blog for a couple days, few comments Iv read have made me annoyed, impressions people are showing and strangers who need to wind there neck in.
People don’t have a right to make a judgment on someone you don’t know and certainly when they hear half a story and don’t get told all the other stuff just what people wanna share, I am close to kicking off.
How ever the line was crossed naming calling someone earlier, I don’t give one tiny little **** what people think, but as soon as you pick on my past, I will not stand for that. I don’t care how it turned for me, but your talking about someone who will always remain special to me.
This whole situation regarding my ex partner has been very difficult, it has been made harder by me as I wasn’t ready to say goodbye because of an illness even now it’s hard, but the journey taken with her was not a joke not something to pick on most certainly something stupid people do not understand.

The love that we had for each other was evident to experience that as a duo, I made some stupid mistakes in thinking other wise and expressing on here but it was only ever pure frustration to heartbreak, but for someone I don’t really know to make a judgment on my and her…is unacceptable.
I don’t know why I’m blogging about it, but I am majorly pissed about it.
Sorry for my lack of blogging recently I felt I had to start a new blog so I am blogging just not on this as much any more, I don’t wanna upset anymore.
And breath lol enjoy your evenings 🙂 

New

I don’t hate my past as she calls me. Today was brewing into an argument and part me wanted it this conversation has been needed for exactly 4/5 months… how ever we don’t need anymore arguments. I’m not allowed to talk to her at present at her request. But she reads my blog so I was gonna delete it and start a fresh…however Iv decided something else, I’m gonna blog for me to show her…she maybe doesn’t care in my head but I know she does just it’s a little easier for her then me to hide.So I have decided I want to make some changes in my life style and I would like to blog about them every other day I want to try and experience or do something new. I’m maybe gonna cut the online dating it’s not helping tbh, I am trying to replace someone I don’t want to be replaced.
So I intend to blog my changes my challenges, I intend not to blog about the past if possible i defiantly won’t blog about the past person in a negative way. Maybe il never get to see her again, however If I love her like I say I do I will do as she says and even make myself into a better version of me, I clearly have the potential as people like me maybe it’s time I tried to like me too!
Sorry to my friends, my family, my colleges and most of all…her.
Don’t blog to moan about me, don’t judge me, don’t write me off for ever and mainly remember Iv been through the same hell just I didn’t get the support others have.
This is my challenge I want to share with you guys.

Back to square one again 

Today’s been the worst ever. I’m already feeling rubbish about State me.Today’s pushed me over the edge I’m not trying cause hassle I’m not trying to begin a row all I want is to be normal like people act!! Why this time I don’t know.

But it’s destroyed me words and killing me atm, my dinner went in the bin Iv came home and won’t eat now can’t be bothered to go for a run and now am thinking about getting razor out the draw to hurt myself.
I’m sick of this mood 😢
Why is it so hard to be civil 😢
I can’t take much more, an I can’t just vanish 😦 
I’m so unhappy again 😦 the one person who can help doesn’t wanna help me 😦