Love 

Her blogs are getting to me…sometimes I wanna scream, what you doing lolIv read about how she blames herself and that she said stuff she didn’t mean, that she’s horrible and all the above.

Then she’s single because 4 ex’s gave up on her because she maybe wasn’t nice or good enough.

Now I am number 4, but this isn’t the case I never went anywhere, her illness meant she couldn’t be in a relationship I hated it but it is what it is. 
How ever I can write this as I know she no longer reads anything to do with me…I love this stupid girl, she’s daft Iv never loved a human being like I do her even now she’s all I think about I’d give my right arm for anything from her. I still dream about my future and wish is was with her I want a family and I want it with her I wanna experience everything and only with her.

I can’t imagine it with anyone else.

As a girlfriend she was a headache lol but in such a good way, we would laugh all time till my head hurt, we would always be planning out next adventure or experience we had such an amazing life, we are the boy girl version of each other. (That’s an incredible thing to find),my family abso adored her they still do deep down, she was the wife material ya family want for any one.
She is perfect, away from the illness she’s her she’s who she is what she’s all about she’s such a special individual…its why it hurts so much she’s ill and this has all happened.

So much has been said and so much happened none of it relevant it’s all the past it was all related to the illness.
I wish there was a way to tell her how much I love her, I wish I knew if she loved me…..I wish a lot of things, maybe she does love me…guess this is stuff il never know.
But I hate hearing how crap of a person she thinks she is when in fact she’s the most incredible person I have ever meet and all I want in the world is her that statement alone tells you the whole world what an incredible person she is.
Anorexia has destroyed her life and my relationship but she’s still that same person we all adore…just wish she knew. 

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