Gone to far

This has gone to far….
So I have been told I shouldn’t blog, I will be sued for expressing my inner thoughts.blogging is to be able express what you think and how you feel your are encouraged to speak out loud but I’m told I can’t can’t say what I think.

My posts are about my life my situation nothing is aimed at anyone at all. It’s what helps me.

But I am to blame for all this, my words are killing people, my confusion my being lost is me causing trouble.

There a situation here that has got so far out of hand it untrue, it kinda turned my life upside down…but again it’s my fault. The situation is I mess up, I’m jamie I mess up I’m human I hold my hands up I’m far from perfect I mess up, I have spent my life the last four months helping a mentally ill person because I loved them, it affects you my whole life changed over night everything changed this was no ones fault it’s life I choose to be part of it. But it put me on edge I didn’t want this person to die, I wanted to do all in my power to help them and that I did. My friends told me last night I shouldn’t not be ashamed I should be proud of what I did not many would… an no one else was willing too. 

But I did everything I could, but I don’t feel proud, I’m sad I’m told I’m killing her now I’m stopping recovery…. because of hurt, confusion, sadness. I told my friends last night I no longer care about life Iv thought before some stupid stuff but I literally don’t care anymore, I haven’t eatten a meal in coming up for 3 weeks I got told I’m looking ill but ya not what I’m pleased I wanna punish myself, people txing me an having a go at me agree with it all, so I wanna punish more. 

My words aren’t angry at people, it’s confusion. Our brain consists of questions and when stuff isn’t answered you make the answers….but we shouldn’t be punished for this.

This whole situation has got out of hand and made so much more then needed to be.

I am blogging because i neee to!

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