Don’t really know what I wanna write about yet I wanna write.
So let’s try and explain, so I have a close friend who is very important to me very I would and do anything I possible can for her.
She stays at mine with me quite a bit ATM, this morning she cried and said to me she felt were acting more then friends and was confusing her (I didn’t think she liked me…. in fact I thought the opposite) how ever she’s happy when we are together and we’re both single and not doing anything wrong, so why cry.
She got let down by a friend for tonight and she got all depressed and just sat in the coffee shop and starred into space.
Yet I tried and tried and tried to help but it just didn’t work it wasn’t me she wanted to be around so she quickly escaped to get away from me, I did how ever tell her to come see me later so she’s not alone I wanna make sure she’s okay, she said yes hesitantly I knew that meant no but don’t wanna say it.
She has been out on a date with this guy a couple of times, who was only interested in her for one thing and is selective when he can be bothered yet even with his terrible attitude, he has all her attention and if we asked to her tonight she would be there or probably will be anyway.
I just feel like I try so hard yet everything I do is incorrect, I go out my way to make sure I do correctly and bend over backwards to be there. But it’s clear il never be special but the way it makes you feel when you know when someone acts like a a******e and is a stranger compared to you is far more important and clearly can’t do anything wrong.
You start questioning what you do wrong and how you can be so useless at everything…clearly, why can’t I be the first thought not a chore! Thoughts running around….quick way to get confused and fed up and now you realise il have deal with it on my own.