So today I had to visit my probation officer, il repeat that so it makes sense “my probation officer” Yeap I’m officially a criminal.
I can’t shift this awful headache I have as I haven’t been sleeping stressed and worried about this.
It was intense, talking about my life but mainly my relationship with my ex, so many questions… why did you split, why did you love her, how do you know you loved her, what would you say if you seen her, would you wanna talk to her…. my head is battered. But the question asked the most and the hardest is ..”so why do think she asked for a no contact order for 12months?, if she loved you why did she ask for it?” …. I said because she hates me…to which I got “then she didnt love you” it was tough very tough. “Do you think she will contact you”….no I don’t
But she was understanding towards it all from both sides of the story, which was nice I didn’t appreciate the comments made in court from the duty solicitor about “your better off away from it, it’s done you a favour, lucky escape” none of that could b further from the truth.
But the nicest comment of the day is your not a bad man at all, sometimes good people also get in trouble for stuff out of there control to a degree.
Which is nice to hear, I have been feeling like the scum of the earth about all this. She asked when I’m feeling down what do you think….. an it’s what I’m thinking right now, what a complete and utter mess this is, I miss her so much 😦
Off to London tonight, need to get back to work and busy…..these are such hard times when will they ever end